Some people might think that I have the best life ever. I travel the roads with my ham of a sister and our human parents in their car. My life, in all seriousness, is pretty rough.
The humans pack me into the back of their Volkswagen GTI every morning. They make sure to always leave as much room as possible and make it super comfortable.
I know they mean well. They put our favorite blankets and pillows from home back there for me and the “ham”, Zoe. They don’t realize that Zoe ignores our back seat luxuries and uses me as a pillow. I see them looking back here and going “aw, how cute”. They think we are snuggling. Not the case! I am being used as a cushion. Damn this soft fluffy exterior!
Now you might think that this is the end of my misery, but alas, it is not. I make many stops on my journeys. There are so many little critters at my stops. Squirrels, chipmunks, lizards, and frogs are everywhere along my trails, but can I chase them? NO! The humans will not allow it. I want to chase and nip and play with all of the cute critters, but they say it’s not “safe”. Don’t even get me started on all the delicious snacks and foods I find too! They tell me it might make me sick! How can something so delicious make me sick?!?!?
I also want to be pet by everyone I see. This is what dogs were made for. There are people everywhere on my journeys but only a small percentage get to pet me. I try barking to get the attention of strangers, but my humans don’t like that either. If you see me on my travels, please for the love of all that is fluffy, pet me!
These travels take me far and wide. I have seen many things on my journeys and eaten many secret snacks. Please remember when you see me on one of my many adventures, stoop down and say “hello Punkin”.
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